In Memoriam
by Risa1
Summary: When it's time to say goodbye...


In Memoriam

By Risa

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Charmed – no copyright infringement intended.

Author's Note: This was just a very short piece that I just couldn't get out of my head… I guess I wanted the end of the P/C relationship to be softer and more peaceful. Actually, I would have preferred it if it didn't end at all… :-) 

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            Phoebe shut the door to her room and leant against it, closing her eyes. Cole was gone. Gone for good. The words still sounded a little strange. She walked to her closet and pulled out a small box that was almost hidden in a dark corner. Gently, she swept aside the dust and opened it.

            Inside were all the physical reminders of her relationship with Cole – photos, her wedding ring, the little gifts that he had given her… _It's strange_, she thought, _we try so hard to hide these memories away in boxes, trying to ignore them and pretend they didn't exist, but yet we still can't bring ourselves to throw them away._

            She had locked all the love and memories that they shared in a tiny corner in her mind, telling herself and telling the world that she was over him. She wasn't attached to him any more; the connection between them was broken. But it wasn't true. She wanted to believe that because she was just so tired. She didn't want to go through all the pain again. She had been scarred – too badly, too deeply. She just wanted to leave it all behind her. It was easier to slip into that protective mask of detachment, easier to pretend that she just didn't care. She had succeeded in deceiving herself but Cole's death forced her to face what she truly felt. Now that she was alone, she could finally allow herself to grieve, to release the restraints and look back on all that they had shared together. 

            The attraction between them had been immediate. It was as if there was an invisible bond between them, drawing them together. The first night that they spent together had been heaven for her. Lying in Cole's arms, she felt safe, protected, at peace. For the first time, her life felt whole, complete. 

Looking through the photographs she felt the tears that she had been holding back begin to fall. She remembered all the little happy moments that they shared together, talking, having dinner, a simple stroll in the park, taking photos… They belonged to a more distant, innocent time. During those little moments, it was as if they were just a normal couple, deeply in love. But that was the problem right there – they weren't a normal couple. 

            Obstacles sprouted everywhere, as if something or someone was conspiring to keep them apart. Their relationship had been so brief, so fragile, like a fleeting illusion that collapsed once you tried to grasp it. Every time they tried to hold on to the glimmer of happiness, something happened to destroy everything, bringing pain and grief. 

            Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. Fate had brought them together, but it also kept them apart. But Phoebe didn't regret the time that they had spent together. She might regret what became of them, but not the love that they shared. It had been so beautiful, so perfect…

           Maybe that was why it couldn't last. It was something too perfect for this world, something too beautiful to be sustainable. 

            She sighed as she walked to the open window. What haunted her now was the thought that she might have stopped Cole from going down the path of self-destruction. Perhaps if she had accepted him, taken him back, things would have been different.

            But it was too late. They had each made their choices and there was no turning back. There was little point in all the "what if"s. 

            A gust of wind blew through the window, causing Phoebe to shiver. She was about to close the window when she felt the air around her change. Another breeze blew, caressing her gently. Phoebe closed her eyes, losing herself in the gentle touch of the breeze when she felt the ghost of a kiss on her lips. Phoebe opened her eyes in shock. But there was no one else in the room.

            _No, it's just my imagination. It couldn't possibly be real…_

            Then, she heard a soft, familiar voice say gently, wistfully, "I love you Phoebe, now, always and forever. Someday, maybe in our next lives…" 

            The breeze stilled and the voice faded away. No, it couldn't have been her imagination, Phoebe thought, smiling gently. "Maybe someday," she repeated to herself, feeling her grief lighten. "Go peacefully, Cole," she said softly before she shut the window.__

*~ Finis ~*


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